Sunday, October 28, 2007
Which one, if any, do think best pictures silence?
Empty Place, Silent Home
An empty chair, an empty place,
And in my heart an empty space.
An empty chair, an empty bed,
But the loneliness fills my head.
A silent door, and silent halls;
Still I hear your footsteps through the walls.
A silent door, a silent home;
There's no one to depend on now that you're gone.
Disturbing the silence is the ringing of the phone,
And the chatter of the answering machine as I cry,"leave me alone!"
Everyone depends on me; I have no one to turn to,
So I cling to this empty house and dream of loving you.
They want me to sell this place where I hide,
Where I keep all the memories of you safely inside.
They want me to be there for them, I feel used.
They say I need to move on and think I've nothing to lose.
An empty chair, a silent door.
Without this place, I've nothing to live for.
An empty bed, a silent home.
Never before have I been so alone.
I wrote this back in Feb. of '04.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
"The City" as seen from the Jersey shore.
Escape from the city. Which one do you like better?
It was pointed out to me that this picture might look better if the sea lions weren't in the middle, so here it is cropped. I think I like it better. What do you think?
Thursday, October 18, 2007
PMS. Extreme mood swings.
I missed out on Blog Action Day for the Environment. If it weren't for the extreme mood swings I've been going through lately, I might have found out about it sooner. So, I think I'll take some time to complain about the pollutant of our environment that is irritating me the most right now. Hormones.
There have been studies for a few years now about how the hormones being used by the cattle industry are affecting us. Some scientists believe that they are responsible for the premature physical development of young girls. There are also studies on how "the pill" is having an impact on our environment. Apparently they are afraid that because water treatment plants don't filter out the hormones that women who are on the pill excrete, the population of male fish are declining. So, not only do we have an unnatural amount of hormones in the food we eat, but it may be the same for the water we drink. Since unusually high levels of estrogen are responsible ailments like PMS, endometriosis, fibroid tumors, and breast and cervical cancers, these scientist also believe there is a link between the increase in these diseases and the hormonal pollutants.
Most women are hormonally imbalanced and estrogen dominant by their thirties [pregnancy temporally relieves that by increasing progesterone levels]. It's now considered the norm for a girl of 12 years to start menses. It's supposed to be at age 16 or 17. I'm a victim of this kind of pollution. I was full grown at the age of 13. For thirty years now I have suffered for close to two weeks of every month. Every year gets worse. As the endometriosis and fibroid tumors get worse, my chances for ovarian cancer increase. What do the doctors want to do to help me? They want to put me on the pill! I want to slap the next doctor who suggests it. I hope I'm PMSing when I do.
How can people make a difference? Well I think most people already know... buy organic, like organic meat and dairy products.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
When I was 9 or 10 years old, I took sculpting lessons from an artist by the name of Tracy Guthrie. A year or two later I remember my mom pointing out one of his pieces in a local mall. It was a life size sculpture of some kids playing on a swing. The chains of the swing went straight up to nothing. I remember thinking, "wouldn't it be cool to have a swing like that, that hangs from nothing."
As a teacher, he sparked my imagination. Anything I wanted to make, he would find a way to make it possible and then show me how to do it. For example, I wanted to make a bird flying. He said, "how will you display it?" I hadn't really thought about it. I just wanted to make it. So, I said with the little wheels in my head turning the way they do with children, "maybe tie some string to it and hang it from something." He thought of a better way using a piece of wood and a bic pen. He drilled a hole in the block and then showed me how to balance the bird on the bic pen. He never said, "pick something a little easier." I think that showed in his work. He inspires me to this day.
I was tagged for this meme by Mary. I think it should be fun to see what people have on their desktops, so if I don't tag you, feel free to participate anyway and let me know when you do. I have a picture of my sweetie on mine. I'm tagging Carol-Rose, Lynda, and Karen. Here's what you do:
 Go to your desktop and pressing the Print Scrn key (located on the right side of the F12 key).
 Open a graphics program (like Picture Manager, Paint, Irfanview, or Photoshop) and do a Paste (CTRL + V).
 If you wish, you can “edit” the image, before saving it.
 Post the picture in your blog. You can also give a short explanation on the look of your desktop just below it if you want. You can explain why you preferred such look or why is it full of icons. Things like that.
 Tag five of your friends and ask them to give you a Free View of their desktop as well.
Because I'm so technologically challenged, I couldn't figure out how to make the Print Scrn key work on mine, so I took a photo instead. Also, I need to work on making more friends so I can pester them with these meme schemes.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Thursday, October 4, 2007
When The Blues Turn Black
I was feeling a little blue today, and when I do I usually turn to the ocean's clear cool waters to wash away my worries. As I drift along weightlessly under the ever watching cotton candy sky, the waves blanket and caress my skin. I can't remember how I got here, but don't really care. Slowly, I sink below the surface into the music of the water. It plays softly, echoing through the currents like the sad song of a blues guitar. Blurry visions of sunlight dance past me in streams, fading into the shadow I cast downward, and obscure my view of my final destination.
As I descend effortlessly, something in the way the light plays in the water reminds me of how I got here. I have been cast off as worthless by the others, and weighted down with their expectations. They think they've done away with me, but they don't know that I am the Ocean's daughter. He doesn't find me worthless, and will not abandon me. I will breathe free again here in my new home where I have always belonged. I'm sure of this. He did it for my ancestors before me, and he'll do the same for me.
His peacefulness soaks into my very bones as I rock and sway with his rhythm, while the sunlight now dances on the Ocean's floor. Even the fish in all their fanciful colors welcome me like a long lost friend. I slowly grow numb to the world I leave behind. Only a brief sharp pain from my ankle and some strange voices interrupt this serene reunion, but they disappear as quickly as they came, and are soon forgotten.
Forgotten, that is, until a bloody tide clouds my vision, and a persistent throbbing brings me into a different world entirely. "Doctor, this one's a waste of your time. There are other more pressing emergencies requiring your attention. We'll take care of this one." Their voices didn't seem real and were barely audible over my pain. Still blurry-eyed, I gazed in horror down toward the end of the harsh metal table that I seemed to have landed on. "Where's my leg!" The words came out of my mouth faster than I could comprehend what I was asking. The doctor turned to me and uttered something about suicide. I heard nothing but the silent scream of his empty, soulless eye sockets and the shrieking pain of an ankle I no longer possessed. The nurse laughed.