Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Hurricane E-mails

Here's some e-mails I've received from friends lately. Obviously there has been a lot of people with a lot of free time around here. What else is there to do while waiting for your power to be turned back on?

Top Ten Reasons Hurricane Season Is Like Christmas:

10: You decorate the house (with plywood and tarps).
9: Last minute shopping in crowded stores.
8: Regular TV shows pre-empted for 'Specials'.
7: Family coming to stay with you.
6: Family and friends from out of state calling you.
5: Buying food you don't normally buy . . . and in large quantities.
4: Days off from work.
3: You have lit candles and lights all over.
2: You visit the liquor store to party with the neighbors.

And the #1 reason Hurricane Season is like Christmas:

1. At some point you're probably going to have a tree in your house!

The hurricane grouch quotient can be calculated by adding the number of children and pets in a home without power, multiplied by the number of days quoted on the CenterPoint telephone recording, divided by the number of fans or portable air conditioners powered by your home generator, (however if you were last in line at Home Depot and have no generator then multiply by the daily temperature high for that day reported by the news), then add the number of trips to the washateria and add the days left until school opens again. Discount by the percentage of time spent at neighbors who have power and alcohol. Recalculate as often as necessary.

• No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work without electricity.

• Calories consumed during a hurricane or power outage do not count.

• Vienna sausages and Spaghetti-Os only appear on the food pyramid during hurricane season.

• Despite protests, kids can re-live their parents' youth when there were only 3 tv channels!

• Houston without traffic lights resemble Mexico City, Rome, Los Angeles and New York City all rolled into a single snarl.

• A 7 lb bag of ice will chill 6-12 oz beers to a drinkable temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14 lb. turkey frozen for 8 more hours.

• There are/were a lot of really big trees around here!

• People will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea what the line is for.

• Gas mileage is recalculated based on miles per fume.

• Telemarketers function no matter what the weather is doing. New Delhi does not check the weather report in South Texas before calling

• Most popular text message after September 13: do u hve pwr

• Twenty-seven of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer than you, and they are quick to point that out!

• Crickets and cicadas can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14 generators.

• Dirty clothes in an unsupervised hamper multiply at an exponential rate.

• Coffee, spaghetti and frozen pizzas can be made on a grill.

• He who has the biggest generator wins.

• Tree service companies are under-appreciated, except after hurricanes.

• There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.

• If you owned a store that sold only ice, chain saws, gas and generators, you would be rich.


Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

LOL! Funny but not funny!

atomicvelvetsigh said...

haa! a good laugh just right after the 'storm'.. it would help one look on the brighter side of things they say.. 8)

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

LOL! I laughed at this all over agaoin.

Out dining room light was out for a while (months), and I kept flicking the switch--I NEVER got used to the fact that it didn't work.

And I used to live with NO POWER at all!

bluerose9062 said...

I kept trying to turn the water on. It's amazing how much I rinse my hands. I finally started using the puddles in the backyard.

When you lived without power, did you have switches to flick? I think that as long as there is a switch or a faucet, we're going to try to keep using it whether it works or not. ;]