Weekly Wings Challenge 4 - You're on a Mission! and Meme

I originally told Mary that I would have to get back to her later on her My Best Possible Selves Meme, but this Wings Challenge I'm currently working on is similar in that I need to decide on some goals for my future. This has been difficult for me since my husbands death, because the way I had my life planned completely changed. I've been unsure about what I want, ever since. So, even though Mary's meme said to spend about 10 to 20 minutes on this, I've probably spent about the last 7 years trying to figure this out.

My first goal, and probably most important, involves how I see myself now and how I want to see myself in the future. I'm just beginning to understand that I have to be who I am, not who I think I should be, but I have to try to change who I am by seeing myself as who I want to be. It's easy to get the two confused. I want to be happy and healthy. Who doesn't, and why did it take me years to figure this out? Well, it's because I have been told by doctors that I won't ever really be either. All my life they've told me that I have a chemical imbalance due to genetics, that causes depression, and would have to be on medication for the rest of my life. They would say, " there is no cure for your depression." In addition, they also say there is no cure for Rheumatoid Arthritis [RA], a disease that began affecting me about 3 years ago. Over the years I've been diagnosed with a list of other ailments including, but not limited to, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Leaky Gut Syndrome, Raynaud's Disease, Attention Deficit Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Hypoglycemia, etc. Currently, I'm not taking any pharmaceutical medications. I've been able to get rid of most of these ailments with alternative treatments. However, I'm still taking alternative medications for depression and RA, so I have a tendency to see myself as depressed and sickly, and to ignore the pain in an attempt to pretend that I'm not. I'm realizing now, though, that my illness is not who I am.

Who am I? I am a personal trainer who specializes in working with people who have special needs, like diabetes, high blood pressure, auto-immune disorders, cancer, arthritis and joint injuries, osteoporosis, and neurological disorders like stroke and head injuries. I've over come a drug addiction, as well as addictions to caffeine, nicotine, and refined sugars. I've changed my life style and eating habits to become healthier, and lose 70 pounds. I was told by a neurologist that I would need surgery on my neck, because of a bone spur, that physical therapy wouldn't help, and yet with a chiropractor and starting a regular exercise routine, I have all the feeling back in my right hand without the surgery. Hence, the reason why I became a personal trainer. I am a survivor, who can adapt my life to accommodate whatever is needed to reach my goals.

Through my work, I've had the opportunity to do a lot of research into auto-immune disorders. I was able to interview a couple of women who have cured themselves of Lupus, and Multiple Sclerosis [MS]. They were both selling products they believe cured them, but when I pried deeper into their personal lives, they both admitted that they had to completely change their lives, their way of thinking, and attitudes, as well as turning to their faith for help. My research is also teaching me that these diseases, including RA, characteristically have emotionally traumatic experiences in the past that make every day stresses the proverbial straw that triggers the disease. I believe that an emotional release of these experiences along with changing deeply ingrained thought patterns and habits will help me reach my goal of being healthy, and I am learning that my chemical imbalance is due to these same experiences, not genetics, so I believe this process will also help me reach my goal of being happy.

Because I've been able to work closely with clients who have Fibromyalgia, Lupus, MS, Chronic Fatigue, and RA, I've noticed that focusing on goals is difficult for them. This is motivating me to make my next goal of Life Coaching. I want to learn skills that will help me focus better, and then teach them to others. When I learned how diet and exercise could help, I decided to teach others, but diet and exercise only got me so far. Likewise, I can only do so much as a personal trainer. Life Coach seems like a natural progression for me.

Some other goals that are important to me involve my art. Over the years, I've seem to have gotten away from my art, and this blog has been helping me get back into it. I want to eventually turn some of my digital collages, that I've posted here, into paintings. It's been a while since I've done any painting. I also want to write a book about my life. I've started it, but I think it will take a while to finish. My Best Possible Selves Meme said to write about what we want our lives to be like in the next 5 to 10 years. I'm hoping to be able to accomplish these things in the next 5 years, since I've already started on some of them. Maybe in the next 10 years, I could be living someplace tropical, where I will be working on my underwater photography. These are my goals, why it's taken me seven years to figure them out, and why I can now see myself accomplishing them.

The last step of the 4th Wings Challenge is to write a Mission Statement using our goals, values, purpose, and manifestations. Here is my Mission Statement:

My mission is to awaken the courage, insight, and creative
abilities that have always been in me, and use them to
communicate to others the things I've been learning on
this journey.

The picture above is the logo that is goes along with my Mission Statement, which is also part of the exercise. I've been a trainer for 6 years now, and still don't have a logo for my business. You'd think that as an artist, that would be one of the first things I'd do, but I've had no desire or motivation to design one. I've decided that I'm going to use this one for my business. I may use it for my Life Coaching business, too, when I start one.

123 Acrostic Poetry Meme

H-Acrostic 123 Poetry Meme

The H in H-Acrostic is from HARVESTED--meaning you start with harvested phrases.

I was tagged with this exceptionally fun meme by Mary. Here's how it works:

1)choose a book (mine is Tending the Earth Mending the Spirit)
2)go to Page 123, Look for the first interesting word or phrase:
"A healing vibration" (you can go on to the next page if
necessary)(Short words are quicker!)

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V
W X Y Z
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26

For each letter of your word or phrase, add that letters number of
pages and count down that letter's number of lines and write down the
first interesting phrase BEGINNING with the LETTER. Continuing adding
pages, and if you get to end, continue from the beginning. Or just
open any page randomly. Do NOT use a poetry book.

• A: 123+1=124pg- applied to many other aspects of our lives; accepted responses of plants
• H: 124+8=132pg- humans need to accept that ripening and maturing are natural things; how to respond; hope for myself
• E: 132+5=137pg- experience taught him; every spring reminds me that there is something about a garden
• A: 137+1=138pg- appreciation of the miniature earths we create; alone to process; at least a few minutes
• L: 138+12=160pg- look outside and see the outline of my garden, and I suddenly remember
• I: 169pg- in sights, smells, sounds, and textures; intuitively, instead of categorizing and analyzing
• N: 183pg- nature sanctuary for plants and animals; nourish me in this environment
• G: 190pg- gave me great comfort to know the natural world would go on
• V: 212pg- value of extinct species in the natural order of things; very sterile, artificial world
• I: 221pg- I'm not some kind of earth goddess
• B: 223pg- be wondering how any one person can make a difference; been unable to make a dent in the status quo
• R: 2pg- rich and famous, impoverished and unknown
• A: 3pg- are involved in creative pursuits
• T:23pg- that with the process of letting go of those we love the most
• I: 32pg- is something that a therapist and writer call communing with nature
• O: 47pg- of what's so magical about a garden
• N: 61pg- now giving something back to the natural world

(Yours of course will look different.)

Now comes the hard poetry part. Now that you have a start, you can change anything you want, look up new phrases. You can keep the acrostic form, but if you do, try to make it not be obvious. Or get rid of it. Revise and Edit till you have a poem. Feel free to take a week or two at least with this meme. Try to keep at least some part of the original words or phrases. Here's mine:

A Healing Vibration

Accepted aspects of plants are applied to my life.
How do I respond? I need to accept that ripening and maturing
are naturally arduous answers.
Experience has taught me hope, and every spring reminds me of
Appreciation. I am alone to process, and
Look outside to see
Intuitively, the sights, sounds, smells, and textures. I try to
Nourish myself in a natural sanctuary,
Give myself great comfort apart from a
Very sterile and artificial vanity, but
I'm no earth goddess. I've just
Been wondering how I make a difference,
been unable to affect the value,
been wanting to stop the bleeding.
Richly impoverished and famously unknown
Are all searching for creative pursuits.
The process of letting go of those we love
Is an art that calls for communing with the nature
Of a garden's magic, and is
Now giving that art back to my world.

2 Memes

Atomicvelvetsigh and B. Fred have both tagged me with a meme. The first one I'm supposed to list 5 random or weird things about myself, and the other, 6 inconsequential things about myself. I'm cheating and combining the two, so I won't run out of things to say. I've already listed 7 with a previous meme. Here are 6 more to add to the list.

1. I like to sleep with Freddie Teddy and Snuggles [pictured above] every night. They don't snore, fart, or steal the covers, and I can actually get a good night sleep.
   
   
   
   
2. I have a pet dragon I've named Vladimir, who helps protect my computer from viruses. Really! He was named after a sign painting friend of mine, who past away a few years ago. He was an interesting guy. Maybe one day I'll write a post about him.
   
   
3. Which brings me to the next one... I was a sign painter for fifteen years. I started my own sign company when I was 19 years old. It was called Sign Illusions. Now, if anyone had a chance to look at my previous list of random facts, you'd see that I'm dyslexic. I can't tell you how many times over the years, I painted letters and numbers backwards. I'm happy to be out of that line of work.
   
   
   
   
4. I am known as Lead Foot Lori to many of my friends. I personally think they're being a little over dramatic. On Wednesday, though, I was picked to serve on a jury for traffic court. The defendant was obviously guilty, but I could not look at him when they read the unanimous verdict. I felt like such a hypocrite. I felt guilty all day.
   
   
5. I love my little Honda Civic. It's the first car I've owned that everything on it works, including the a/c. Many people don't know how I've been able to go this long in Houston without a/c. You just get used to it. I should be just a spoiled as everybody else, though, by the end of this summer. It's going to be my first summer with a car that has a/c. Ironically, the thing I like about it the best is that it will turn on a dime. I can take hairpin curves at 40 mph. Woohoo! [you can see how long my guilt lasted]
   
   
6. And finally, I hate eating the stringy white stuff on citrus fruits like oranges. People think I'm a bit obsessive with the way I peel it all off. I really like peeling it off, though. Playing with my food seems to have a mind numbing effect.

Now it's time to tag others. I tag Mary, Imperfect Nerd, Carol Rose, Karen and Lynda. Some of these people may already have a post for this one, as I may be tagging them for the second time.

Another Me Me for You You Too Too

Yet another meme. Tagged again by Mary. This one should be fun. I'm supposed to write seven new random, or weird facts about myself. I'm actually really normal, it's the rest of the world that's weird, so I'll do seven random facts ;].

1. This is the first real snowman I have ever made. Real in that it is larger than a few inches tall [I've spent most of my life in Houston, and we don't get much snow here]. I made it today in my Aunt and Uncle's backyard here in Milwaukee where I've been staying for the last couple of weeks.
   
   
2. I hate loud noises. They unnerve me. I was born on the 4th of July, and I can't stand fireworks. I would never play any games that involved popping balloons as a kid. I even used to cringe when my dog barked.
   
   
3. I don't own a TV set, so when I'm around one, I'm like a deer in headlights. I cannot carry on a conversation with anyone if the TV is on in the background. Yet, I can't just sit and watch one. I have to be doing something else while watching. Figure that one out.
   
   
4. I'm dyslexic with a reading disability. I went through 10 years of school, and never read a book. I learned everything by listening. I can read, obviously. I'm just a little slow.
   
   
5. Most of the time, I'm a raw foodist vegan, but since I'm in Wisconsin, home of the Cheeseheads, I've not been on my regular diet. I love cheese. My ancestors were dairy farmers, and the first settlers of this state. It's a cruel twist of fate, that I am allergic to dairy. Oh well. I'll be swollen, bloated, and have the sniffles until I get home and detox.
   
   
6. I have been collecting beads for 15 years for a bead curtain that I have yet to design, much less start on. As of January 1st, I no longer live in the house where I planned to hang it. I used to tell my husband, "it's cheaper than therapy", but now I'm in therapy. Maybe someday I'll make that bead curtain. Probably when I finish therapy, and my body no longer rejects dairy, I'll put it together while watching someone else's TV. Don't hold your breath.
   
   
7. Hmm. One more random fact... people think my ears and pinky fingers are too small. I broke one of my pinky fingers playing basketball as a kid, and now I can gross people out with the way it pops when I move it. Always a fun thing to do.

Now some of you might be thinking I'm a little weird. If so, let's see your list of seven facts. Leave me a comment here if you participate.

Months Meme

I was tagged by Mary here.

Rules:

- Pick your birth month.
- Bold the 5-10 that best apply to you.
- Copy to your own journal, with all twelve months.
- Tag 12 people from your friends list.

Here's my month:

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

"Wary and sharp?" Hmm, I hope not. "Never looks for friends?" I try. I'm just a little awkward at it. The rest of it is probably true in varying degrees.

I don't have 12 people to tag, sorry. I guess I need to work on the finding friends handicap. If anybody reading this would like to join in, consider yourself tagged, and my friend :]. Leave me a comment to let me know. Thanks!

Here's the 12 months:


JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

Desktop Meme

I was tagged for this meme by Mary. I think it should be fun to see what people have on their desktops, so if I don't tag you, feel free to participate anyway and let me know when you do. I have a picture of my sweetie on mine. I'm tagging Carol-Rose, Lynda, and Karen. Here's what you do:

[1] Go to your desktop and pressing the Print Scrn key (located on the right side of the F12 key).
[2] Open a graphics program (like Picture Manager, Paint, Irfanview, or Photoshop) and do a Paste (CTRL + V).
[3] If you wish, you can “edit” the image, before saving it.
[4] Post the picture in your blog. You can also give a short explanation on the look of your desktop just below it if you want. You can explain why you preferred such look or why is it full of icons. Things like that.
[5] Tag five of your friends and ask them to give you a Free View of their desktop as well.

Because I'm so technologically challenged, I couldn't figure out how to make the Print Scrn key work on mine, so I took a photo instead. Also, I need to work on making more friends so I can pester them with these meme schemes.

The Stuart Smalley Meme

I was tagged for this meme by Mary at No Polar Coordinates. I'm supposed to list 10 things I like about myself. Hmm... Well I've never done one of these before, and I don't want to be a party pooper, so here goes.

1. I like that I'm friendly. I've been told that I'm approachable, and that's a good thing because I like people. They fascinate me.



2. I like that I'm empathetic. This helps me with my work, since I usually work with people who are suffering from some kind of ailment, and I love my job. I like being able to help people.



3. I like that I'm loyal. Sometimes family and friends are all we have to get us through, so I think it's important not to take them for granted. My family and friends know that I'm loyal, so I've always had someone to turn to when I'm down.



4. I like that I'm conscientious. Some people would call it perfectionism, but that has such a negative connotation, and this is supposed to be a positive list.



5. I like that I'm a survivor. I use to worry about things like that, but after some of the things I've been through, I've learned that's one less thing I have to worry about. Someday I plan to do more than just survive.



6. I like that I'm creative. It gives me all kinds of options for therapy.



7. I like that I'm a good swimmer, which comes in real handy when you love the water.



8. I like that I'm a nature lover. Otherwise, I would miss out on all the peace that comes from gardening or a walk in the woods, or the joy that comes from the love of a pet or witnessing some of the miracles of life in the animal kingdom.



9. I like that I'm independent, although, my father and a few ex boyfriends have referred to it as stubborn. Other people say I have strong willpower or determination. Whatever you want to call it, it helps me survive.



10. And last but not least... I like that I can like myself. I know how horrible it feels to not like yourself, and it's a relief to finally be able to like myself.

Oh yes, it's all about me. Probably more than you wanted to know, but maybe not if you've read this far. This is the part where I'm supposed to tag other people. I'll tag Lynda, Karen, Carol Rose, and Kelly and Dominique if they ever get their blogs started.