2 Memes

Atomicvelvetsigh and B. Fred have both tagged me with a meme. The first one I'm supposed to list 5 random or weird things about myself, and the other, 6 inconsequential things about myself. I'm cheating and combining the two, so I won't run out of things to say. I've already listed 7 with a previous meme. Here are 6 more to add to the list.

1. I like to sleep with Freddie Teddy and Snuggles [pictured above] every night. They don't snore, fart, or steal the covers, and I can actually get a good night sleep.
   
   
   
   
2. I have a pet dragon I've named Vladimir, who helps protect my computer from viruses. Really! He was named after a sign painting friend of mine, who past away a few years ago. He was an interesting guy. Maybe one day I'll write a post about him.
   
   
3. Which brings me to the next one... I was a sign painter for fifteen years. I started my own sign company when I was 19 years old. It was called Sign Illusions. Now, if anyone had a chance to look at my previous list of random facts, you'd see that I'm dyslexic. I can't tell you how many times over the years, I painted letters and numbers backwards. I'm happy to be out of that line of work.
   
   
   
   
4. I am known as Lead Foot Lori to many of my friends. I personally think they're being a little over dramatic. On Wednesday, though, I was picked to serve on a jury for traffic court. The defendant was obviously guilty, but I could not look at him when they read the unanimous verdict. I felt like such a hypocrite. I felt guilty all day.
   
   
5. I love my little Honda Civic. It's the first car I've owned that everything on it works, including the a/c. Many people don't know how I've been able to go this long in Houston without a/c. You just get used to it. I should be just a spoiled as everybody else, though, by the end of this summer. It's going to be my first summer with a car that has a/c. Ironically, the thing I like about it the best is that it will turn on a dime. I can take hairpin curves at 40 mph. Woohoo! [you can see how long my guilt lasted]
   
   
6. And finally, I hate eating the stringy white stuff on citrus fruits like oranges. People think I'm a bit obsessive with the way I peel it all off. I really like peeling it off, though. Playing with my food seems to have a mind numbing effect.

Now it's time to tag others. I tag Mary, Imperfect Nerd, Carol Rose, Karen and Lynda. Some of these people may already have a post for this one, as I may be tagging them for the second time.

Illustration Friday: Multiple

More Stingrays

Experimenting with Picasa.

My Latest Desktop Wallpaper

The Madisons

The Madisons have a new album out called "Do You Love Me", and I'm honored to have my artwork featured on the cover. Check it out here, and download your favorite songs for free. If your a fan of the blues, you'll enjoy listening to the Madisons.

There's a little story behind the artwork that was chosen for the cover. I used to babysit the lead singer's daughter years ago, and the two of us would sit and draw for hours. Without realizing it, Miss Lizzie picked a drawing from my sketchbook that was inspired by her daughter's doodles. I never finished it until a prompt from Illustration Friday motivated me, and I posted it here.

Below are couple of videos of The Madisons performing their song "Sleepin".



Here's an older version:

Illustration Friday: Theory

The snow drifts of desire
are embellished with footsteps of fire.
Fire and ice provoked a placid sky to crumble,
and through shards of belief systems you stumble.

Theories of possibilities
make issues realities.

How do you put out the fires
without melting the desires?
Can the sky be made whole again?
Can a theory of abandonment help mend?

For My Sweetie

Photo Friday: What Is That?

Endeavor

Reflection Roe

Illustration Friday: Choose

"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice." -Rush

This is about being stuck in an uncomfortable comfort zone. Inspired by Anonyrrie's "Venturing Beyond". Do you think to dream of greatness is a form of greed, or a desire to fill an insecure need, or a sign that you have the ability to succeed?

Photo Friday: Misty

Grounded

Illustration Friday: Blanket

For Aunt Kay, Mica, and Shelley

Uncle Mike

My Uncle Mike passed away last Sunday, January 27th, from cancer. It was almost six years to the day after his son died from cancer. At the age of 20, my cousin, Chris, died January 28, 2002. Uncle Mike was in his early sixties. Both died before their time, if you ask me.

Uncle Mike had always been healthy and full of life. He was a physical therapist who ran marathons. In fact, he was so passionate about running that he ran nearly every day of his life. He also loved cars, football, wind surfing, camping, and the outdoors, so you can imagine how devestating it was for him to have the tumors in his spine paralyze him.

It's difficult to make sense of his death, although I wouldn't be surprised if the death of his only son was a contributing factor. Chris's death was such a severe blow to the whole family. Coping with the death of a loved one seems to be a skill that escapes most of us. We all die. It's part of life. Logically, you would think that because of familiarity, eventually coping and accepting death would get easier as we get older. Instead it's the other way around. The longer we live, the harder it is, because our bonds grow deeper, and our appreciation for life grows stronger. It seems to go against the very nature of our own survival instinct to accept the death of a loved one. Yet, if we don't find a way to cope and move on, we put our own lives in peril.

I am speaking from my own pain, and my inability to let go of guilt stemming from my husband's death. I don't want to let go of the guilt, because I feel like it's the only way to hold on to him, even though reason dictates that's insane. It goes deeper than conscious reason to a subconscious level. It's affecting my health, and I'm not the first to have this battle.



I watched Uncle Mike struggle with his own mortality as I helped with his care during his final days. He would say to me, "I just need to get to where I can stand and pivot for transfer." This is a physical therapist's term for what a patient needed to be able to do before going home. To me, his words are so poetic. He needed to find his own way to prepare for his death. He needed to stand and fight it in order to prepare for it.

Of course, all that we, his family, wanted was for him to be able to go peacefully without a lot of suffering. We didn't want him to have to struggle and fight, because we couldn't stand to see him in pain. Death was inevitable for him at this point, and he knew it, but still he fought it. We tried to do everything we could so that he wouldn't have this struggle, like pain medication, moving him, stretching his legs, and emotional support. I know that he deeply appreciated everything we did for him, but he wanted to fight. He wanted to "stand and pivot for transfer".

One day while he lay sleeping, I tried to imagine myself in his place. What would it be like to know that I'd never be able to do what I love most [in his case, run], or to know that everything I spent my whole life working for would soon just be a memory in the hearts of those who loved me? The feeling of hopelessness that suddenly overwhelmed me was too acute to fathom. Like a reflex reaction when touching a flame, I pushed the thought as far away from me as possible. I wondered, "by wanting him to be peaceful and without pain, are we asking him to give up?" Sometime after getting home here in Houston, I thought, "I'd rather die fighting, than give up."



Everything about death and dying is contrary to life, yet it's part of life. Reconciling the two is very complex. I don't know how it can be done without some kind of spiritual belief. Uncle Mike had his faith, and I don't think he had any fears about what was going to happen to him after his death. It went against his nature, though, to give up, and it went against ours to watch him suffer or let him go. There's a desperate need to reconcile the two.

Today, my family will be celebrating his life with a memorial service complete with Jimmy Buffet music [he was a "parrot head"], Badger paraphernalia [University of Wisconsin], and photos of him. I won't be able to be there, because I live so far away, but it sounds like a good way to start the coping process.


This is how I want to remember you, Uncle Mike.

The Important Things In Life

I wrote this while sitting in an airport two weeks ago after two weeks of watching my uncle slowly start to die. I had just spent two weeks thinking about the reality of life and death. What it must be like to realize that everything you've spent your whole life working for, your family, your home, your career, is about to be taken away from you. I was sensitive to these things, because before going to my uncle's in Milwaulkee, I had quit my job and moved out of my house. These are the things that I had worked so hard for, and the two things in my life that I turned to for solace after my husband's death. Now I'm volunteerily losing them in an effort to move on. Where, I'm not exactly sure. I just knew that I couldn't stay there anymore.



Jan. 16th - I think that I've avoided contemplating death ever since the loss of my husband. I always try to avoid funerals. Their sorrow is too overwhelming for me. When I have to go, I tune them out as much as possible. Oh I know that it's appropriate to cry at funerals. I also know that I can tune them out so completely that I won't cry, so I'll let a few of the preachers words leak through my wall. The tears always start to flood uncontrolably. I have to push them back down, think of something else, to keep from making a scene or drawing attention to myself. I hate for people to see me cry, and these tears aren't for the deceased. They are for my own pain, and for the loss of my husband.

Now I'm sitting in an airport fighting my tears. The words blur as I write. I know that I'm supposed to come away from these last two weeks with something that will help me move on. I can feel it. I was here for a reason, though I'm not sure what it is, yet. I'm too emotional over the fact that I will never see my uncle again.



Later... After thinking about something my aunt said to me, I wonder if what I'm supposed to get out of all this is the fact that what I've been working so hard for, I have already achieved. I thought I needed to be more independent, so that I wouldn't ever be left so alone again. My aunt sees me as independent, because I've been alone for so many years. I felt like I needed to be more independent financially and emotionally, and not have to rely on a husband to make me feel good or support me. I buried myself in my work and my house, clinging to the guilt of becoming too dependent on my husband which created stress for him, but these are the things I need to let go of to find what is really important. I need to find myself, and let go of my idea of independence.

Nobody can be completely independent. We all need each other. My aunt and uncle needed me these last two weeks, and I needed my family to help me be there for them. I'm good at helping others. That's why I did so well at my job. I'm a people person, and I need companionship. I am independent enough to know what I don't need in a relationship. My fear of dependence has taught me that. Now I need to find balance, so I can become what I need to be. I can't be so afraid of dependence that I spend the rest of my life alone. I know if I ever remarry, I will probably, eventually end out alone again. I've survived this time, and I'll survive again.



I watch my aunt as she's losing her husband. I know what lies ahead for her. Now it's my turn to help her in the same way others have helped me. These are the more important things in life, and I'll need help to do them. I can't do them on my own.

Another Me Me for You You Too Too

Yet another meme. Tagged again by Mary. This one should be fun. I'm supposed to write seven new random, or weird facts about myself. I'm actually really normal, it's the rest of the world that's weird, so I'll do seven random facts ;].

1. This is the first real snowman I have ever made. Real in that it is larger than a few inches tall [I've spent most of my life in Houston, and we don't get much snow here]. I made it today in my Aunt and Uncle's backyard here in Milwaukee where I've been staying for the last couple of weeks.
   
   
2. I hate loud noises. They unnerve me. I was born on the 4th of July, and I can't stand fireworks. I would never play any games that involved popping balloons as a kid. I even used to cringe when my dog barked.
   
   
3. I don't own a TV set, so when I'm around one, I'm like a deer in headlights. I cannot carry on a conversation with anyone if the TV is on in the background. Yet, I can't just sit and watch one. I have to be doing something else while watching. Figure that one out.
   
   
4. I'm dyslexic with a reading disability. I went through 10 years of school, and never read a book. I learned everything by listening. I can read, obviously. I'm just a little slow.
   
   
5. Most of the time, I'm a raw foodist vegan, but since I'm in Wisconsin, home of the Cheeseheads, I've not been on my regular diet. I love cheese. My ancestors were dairy farmers, and the first settlers of this state. It's a cruel twist of fate, that I am allergic to dairy. Oh well. I'll be swollen, bloated, and have the sniffles until I get home and detox.
   
   
6. I have been collecting beads for 15 years for a bead curtain that I have yet to design, much less start on. As of January 1st, I no longer live in the house where I planned to hang it. I used to tell my husband, "it's cheaper than therapy", but now I'm in therapy. Maybe someday I'll make that bead curtain. Probably when I finish therapy, and my body no longer rejects dairy, I'll put it together while watching someone else's TV. Don't hold your breath.
   
   
7. Hmm. One more random fact... people think my ears and pinky fingers are too small. I broke one of my pinky fingers playing basketball as a kid, and now I can gross people out with the way it pops when I move it. Always a fun thing to do.

Now some of you might be thinking I'm a little weird. If so, let's see your list of seven facts. Leave me a comment here if you participate.

Best Blogging Buddies Award

I have been honored by Mary over at No Polar Coordinates with this award! I'm supposed to award it to others now. If Mary hadn't been the one to award it to me, she'd be the first person I'd give it to for being such a good blogging friend and supporter of my blog, and such an inspiring artist. But, I don't think I'm supposed to do that, so I'll continue on with the others I'd like to give this to.

Carol Rose, whose blog is full of whimsical collages as well as anything you'd ever want to know about re-enacting. Be sure to check out her Stuffies while you're there.

Ashok, whose insights on philosophy, politics, and poetry will definitely make you think. Some of my favorite posts by him are his commentaries on poems by authors like Emily Dickenson and Yeats. Check out his forum Rethink
and leave your opinion.

Studio Lolo, whose art and writing inspire an awareness of the fragile balance of the life on this planet we call home, and who leaves a trail of encouraging comments everywhere she goes.

Lynda, who inspires my photography, and is my photo and beading buddy, although I'm still working on getting her to post now that she's moved away from me.

And last but not least, Karen, who is the best neighbor I've ever had, and writes beautifully encouraging poetry on her blog.

Illustration Friday: Horizon

Today is the one year anniversary of my blog. It also happens to be the one year anniversary of my very first post with Illustration Friday.


This was my first post. The topic that week was "Peace". I thought it appropriate to use the doves again in commemorating the anniversary, only this time their eyes are open and on the horizon. The reason for this is in keeping with the theme of this blog, which is about changing and growing creatively. I didn't "metamorphose" as much as I was hoping to this past year, but I believe there are a lot of changes on the horizon for next year. Right now I'm undergoing a lot of changes in my personal life. I've left my job and will be starting a new career. I'm also in the process of moving out of my home and my comfort zones. It's all a bit scary for me, but necessary. Because I've been so preoccupied lately, I haven't spent much time on blogging or creative things [the fact that my camera broke again hasn't helped]. Unfortunately, it may not be until February before I find the time for it again, because I will be spending most of January up north with family taking care of a relative who is dying. I hope to be back soon, and participating regularly in IF again.

Months Meme

I was tagged by Mary here.

Rules:

- Pick your birth month.
- Bold the 5-10 that best apply to you.
- Copy to your own journal, with all twelve months.
- Tag 12 people from your friends list.

Here's my month:

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

"Wary and sharp?" Hmm, I hope not. "Never looks for friends?" I try. I'm just a little awkward at it. The rest of it is probably true in varying degrees.

I don't have 12 people to tag, sorry. I guess I need to work on the finding friends handicap. If anybody reading this would like to join in, consider yourself tagged, and my friend :]. Leave me a comment to let me know. Thanks!

Here's the 12 months:


JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

Photo Friday: Silence

Which one, if any, do think best pictures silence?

Empty Place, Silent Home

An empty chair, an empty place,
And in my heart an empty space.
An empty chair, an empty bed,
But the loneliness fills my head.

A silent door, and silent halls;
Still I hear your footsteps through the walls.
A silent door, a silent home;
There's no one to depend on now that you're gone.

Disturbing the silence is the ringing of the phone,
And the chatter of the answering machine as I cry,"leave me alone!"
Everyone depends on me; I have no one to turn to,
So I cling to this empty house and dream of loving you.

They want me to sell this place where I hide,
Where I keep all the memories of you safely inside.
They want me to be there for them, I feel used.
They say I need to move on and think I've nothing to lose.

An empty chair, a silent door.
Without this place, I've nothing to live for.
An empty bed, a silent home.
Never before have I been so alone.

I wrote this back in Feb. of '04.

Illustration Friday: Grow

Photo Friday: The City

"The City" as seen from the Jersey shore.


Escape from the city. Which one do you like better?


It was pointed out to me that this picture might look better if the sea lions weren't in the middle, so here it is cropped. I think I like it better. What do you think?

Illustration Friday: Extremes

PMS. Extreme mood swings.

I missed out on Blog Action Day for the Environment. If it weren't for the extreme mood swings I've been going through lately, I might have found out about it sooner. So, I think I'll take some time to complain about the pollutant of our environment that is irritating me the most right now. Hormones.

There have been studies for a few years now about how the hormones being used by the cattle industry are affecting us. Some scientists believe that they are responsible for the premature physical development of young girls. There are also studies on how "the pill" is having an impact on our environment. Apparently they are afraid that because water treatment plants don't filter out the hormones that women who are on the pill excrete, the population of male fish are declining. So, not only do we have an unnatural amount of hormones in the food we eat, but it may be the same for the water we drink. Since unusually high levels of estrogen are responsible ailments like PMS, endometriosis, fibroid tumors, and breast and cervical cancers, these scientist also believe there is a link between the increase in these diseases and the hormonal pollutants.

Most women are hormonally imbalanced and estrogen dominant by their thirties [pregnancy temporally relieves that by increasing progesterone levels]. It's now considered the norm for a girl of 12 years to start menses. It's supposed to be at age 16 or 17. I'm a victim of this kind of pollution. I was full grown at the age of 13. For thirty years now I have suffered for close to two weeks of every month. Every year gets worse. As the endometriosis and fibroid tumors get worse, my chances for ovarian cancer increase. What do the doctors want to do to help me? They want to put me on the pill! I want to slap the next doctor who suggests it. I hope I'm PMSing when I do.

How can people make a difference? Well I think most people already know... buy organic, like organic meat and dairy products.

Photo Friday: Real Life

... is not always pretty.

Illustration Friday: Open

When I was 9 or 10 years old, I took sculpting lessons from an artist by the name of Tracy Guthrie. A year or two later I remember my mom pointing out one of his pieces in a local mall. It was a life size sculpture of some kids playing on a swing. The chains of the swing went straight up to nothing. I remember thinking, "wouldn't it be cool to have a swing like that, that hangs from nothing."

As a teacher, he sparked my imagination. Anything I wanted to make, he would find a way to make it possible and then show me how to do it. For example, I wanted to make a bird flying. He said, "how will you display it?" I hadn't really thought about it. I just wanted to make it. So, I said with the little wheels in my head turning the way they do with children, "maybe tie some string to it and hang it from something." He thought of a better way using a piece of wood and a bic pen. He drilled a hole in the block and then showed me how to balance the bird on the bic pen. He never said, "pick something a little easier." I think that showed in his work. He inspires me to this day.

Desktop Meme

I was tagged for this meme by Mary. I think it should be fun to see what people have on their desktops, so if I don't tag you, feel free to participate anyway and let me know when you do. I have a picture of my sweetie on mine. I'm tagging Carol-Rose, Lynda, and Karen. Here's what you do:

[1] Go to your desktop and pressing the Print Scrn key (located on the right side of the F12 key).
[2] Open a graphics program (like Picture Manager, Paint, Irfanview, or Photoshop) and do a Paste (CTRL + V).
[3] If you wish, you can “edit” the image, before saving it.
[4] Post the picture in your blog. You can also give a short explanation on the look of your desktop just below it if you want. You can explain why you preferred such look or why is it full of icons. Things like that.
[5] Tag five of your friends and ask them to give you a Free View of their desktop as well.

Because I'm so technologically challenged, I couldn't figure out how to make the Print Scrn key work on mine, so I took a photo instead. Also, I need to work on making more friends so I can pester them with these meme schemes.

Photo Friday: Wholesome

wholesome - adj. good for the health, healthy, morally sound [Webster's Dictionary]

What could be healthier than a mother's love?

Illustration Friday: The Blues

When The Blues Turn Black

I was feeling a little blue today, and when I do I usually turn to the ocean's clear cool waters to wash away my worries. As I drift along weightlessly under the ever watching cotton candy sky, the waves blanket and caress my skin. I can't remember how I got here, but don't really care. Slowly, I sink below the surface into the music of the water. It plays softly, echoing through the currents like the sad song of a blues guitar. Blurry visions of sunlight dance past me in streams, fading into the shadow I cast downward, and obscure my view of my final destination.

As I descend effortlessly, something in the way the light plays in the water reminds me of how I got here. I have been cast off as worthless by the others, and weighted down with their expectations. They think they've done away with me, but they don't know that I am the Ocean's daughter. He doesn't find me worthless, and will not abandon me. I will breathe free again here in my new home where I have always belonged. I'm sure of this. He did it for my ancestors before me, and he'll do the same for me.

His peacefulness soaks into my very bones as I rock and sway with his rhythm, while the sunlight now dances on the Ocean's floor. Even the fish in all their fanciful colors welcome me like a long lost friend. I slowly grow numb to the world I leave behind. Only a brief sharp pain from my ankle and some strange voices interrupt this serene reunion, but they disappear as quickly as they came, and are soon forgotten.

Forgotten, that is, until a bloody tide clouds my vision, and a persistent throbbing brings me into a different world entirely. "Doctor, this one's a waste of your time. There are other more pressing emergencies requiring your attention. We'll take care of this one." Their voices didn't seem real and were barely audible over my pain. Still blurry-eyed, I gazed in horror down toward the end of the harsh metal table that I seemed to have landed on. "Where's my leg!" The words came out of my mouth faster than I could comprehend what I was asking. The doctor turned to me and uttered something about suicide. I heard nothing but the silent scream of his empty, soulless eye sockets and the shrieking pain of an ankle I no longer possessed. The nurse laughed.