Best Blogging Buddies Award

I have been honored by Mary over at No Polar Coordinates with this award! I'm supposed to award it to others now. If Mary hadn't been the one to award it to me, she'd be the first person I'd give it to for being such a good blogging friend and supporter of my blog, and such an inspiring artist. But, I don't think I'm supposed to do that, so I'll continue on with the others I'd like to give this to.

Carol Rose, whose blog is full of whimsical collages as well as anything you'd ever want to know about re-enacting. Be sure to check out her Stuffies while you're there.

Ashok, whose insights on philosophy, politics, and poetry will definitely make you think. Some of my favorite posts by him are his commentaries on poems by authors like Emily Dickenson and Yeats. Check out his forum Rethink
and leave your opinion.

Studio Lolo, whose art and writing inspire an awareness of the fragile balance of the life on this planet we call home, and who leaves a trail of encouraging comments everywhere she goes.

Lynda, who inspires my photography, and is my photo and beading buddy, although I'm still working on getting her to post now that she's moved away from me.

And last but not least, Karen, who is the best neighbor I've ever had, and writes beautifully encouraging poetry on her blog.

Illustration Friday: Horizon

Today is the one year anniversary of my blog. It also happens to be the one year anniversary of my very first post with Illustration Friday.


This was my first post. The topic that week was "Peace". I thought it appropriate to use the doves again in commemorating the anniversary, only this time their eyes are open and on the horizon. The reason for this is in keeping with the theme of this blog, which is about changing and growing creatively. I didn't "metamorphose" as much as I was hoping to this past year, but I believe there are a lot of changes on the horizon for next year. Right now I'm undergoing a lot of changes in my personal life. I've left my job and will be starting a new career. I'm also in the process of moving out of my home and my comfort zones. It's all a bit scary for me, but necessary. Because I've been so preoccupied lately, I haven't spent much time on blogging or creative things [the fact that my camera broke again hasn't helped]. Unfortunately, it may not be until February before I find the time for it again, because I will be spending most of January up north with family taking care of a relative who is dying. I hope to be back soon, and participating regularly in IF again.

Months Meme

I was tagged by Mary here.

Rules:

- Pick your birth month.
- Bold the 5-10 that best apply to you.
- Copy to your own journal, with all twelve months.
- Tag 12 people from your friends list.

Here's my month:

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

"Wary and sharp?" Hmm, I hope not. "Never looks for friends?" I try. I'm just a little awkward at it. The rest of it is probably true in varying degrees.

I don't have 12 people to tag, sorry. I guess I need to work on the finding friends handicap. If anybody reading this would like to join in, consider yourself tagged, and my friend :]. Leave me a comment to let me know. Thanks!

Here's the 12 months:


JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

Photo Friday: Silence

Which one, if any, do think best pictures silence?

Empty Place, Silent Home

An empty chair, an empty place,
And in my heart an empty space.
An empty chair, an empty bed,
But the loneliness fills my head.

A silent door, and silent halls;
Still I hear your footsteps through the walls.
A silent door, a silent home;
There's no one to depend on now that you're gone.

Disturbing the silence is the ringing of the phone,
And the chatter of the answering machine as I cry,"leave me alone!"
Everyone depends on me; I have no one to turn to,
So I cling to this empty house and dream of loving you.

They want me to sell this place where I hide,
Where I keep all the memories of you safely inside.
They want me to be there for them, I feel used.
They say I need to move on and think I've nothing to lose.

An empty chair, a silent door.
Without this place, I've nothing to live for.
An empty bed, a silent home.
Never before have I been so alone.

I wrote this back in Feb. of '04.

Illustration Friday: Grow

Photo Friday: The City

"The City" as seen from the Jersey shore.


Escape from the city. Which one do you like better?


It was pointed out to me that this picture might look better if the sea lions weren't in the middle, so here it is cropped. I think I like it better. What do you think?

Illustration Friday: Extremes

PMS. Extreme mood swings.

I missed out on Blog Action Day for the Environment. If it weren't for the extreme mood swings I've been going through lately, I might have found out about it sooner. So, I think I'll take some time to complain about the pollutant of our environment that is irritating me the most right now. Hormones.

There have been studies for a few years now about how the hormones being used by the cattle industry are affecting us. Some scientists believe that they are responsible for the premature physical development of young girls. There are also studies on how "the pill" is having an impact on our environment. Apparently they are afraid that because water treatment plants don't filter out the hormones that women who are on the pill excrete, the population of male fish are declining. So, not only do we have an unnatural amount of hormones in the food we eat, but it may be the same for the water we drink. Since unusually high levels of estrogen are responsible ailments like PMS, endometriosis, fibroid tumors, and breast and cervical cancers, these scientist also believe there is a link between the increase in these diseases and the hormonal pollutants.

Most women are hormonally imbalanced and estrogen dominant by their thirties [pregnancy temporally relieves that by increasing progesterone levels]. It's now considered the norm for a girl of 12 years to start menses. It's supposed to be at age 16 or 17. I'm a victim of this kind of pollution. I was full grown at the age of 13. For thirty years now I have suffered for close to two weeks of every month. Every year gets worse. As the endometriosis and fibroid tumors get worse, my chances for ovarian cancer increase. What do the doctors want to do to help me? They want to put me on the pill! I want to slap the next doctor who suggests it. I hope I'm PMSing when I do.

How can people make a difference? Well I think most people already know... buy organic, like organic meat and dairy products.

Photo Friday: Real Life

... is not always pretty.

Illustration Friday: Open

When I was 9 or 10 years old, I took sculpting lessons from an artist by the name of Tracy Guthrie. A year or two later I remember my mom pointing out one of his pieces in a local mall. It was a life size sculpture of some kids playing on a swing. The chains of the swing went straight up to nothing. I remember thinking, "wouldn't it be cool to have a swing like that, that hangs from nothing."

As a teacher, he sparked my imagination. Anything I wanted to make, he would find a way to make it possible and then show me how to do it. For example, I wanted to make a bird flying. He said, "how will you display it?" I hadn't really thought about it. I just wanted to make it. So, I said with the little wheels in my head turning the way they do with children, "maybe tie some string to it and hang it from something." He thought of a better way using a piece of wood and a bic pen. He drilled a hole in the block and then showed me how to balance the bird on the bic pen. He never said, "pick something a little easier." I think that showed in his work. He inspires me to this day.

Desktop Meme

I was tagged for this meme by Mary. I think it should be fun to see what people have on their desktops, so if I don't tag you, feel free to participate anyway and let me know when you do. I have a picture of my sweetie on mine. I'm tagging Carol-Rose, Lynda, and Karen. Here's what you do:

[1] Go to your desktop and pressing the Print Scrn key (located on the right side of the F12 key).
[2] Open a graphics program (like Picture Manager, Paint, Irfanview, or Photoshop) and do a Paste (CTRL + V).
[3] If you wish, you can “edit” the image, before saving it.
[4] Post the picture in your blog. You can also give a short explanation on the look of your desktop just below it if you want. You can explain why you preferred such look or why is it full of icons. Things like that.
[5] Tag five of your friends and ask them to give you a Free View of their desktop as well.

Because I'm so technologically challenged, I couldn't figure out how to make the Print Scrn key work on mine, so I took a photo instead. Also, I need to work on making more friends so I can pester them with these meme schemes.

Photo Friday: Wholesome

wholesome - adj. good for the health, healthy, morally sound [Webster's Dictionary]

What could be healthier than a mother's love?

Illustration Friday: The Blues

When The Blues Turn Black

I was feeling a little blue today, and when I do I usually turn to the ocean's clear cool waters to wash away my worries. As I drift along weightlessly under the ever watching cotton candy sky, the waves blanket and caress my skin. I can't remember how I got here, but don't really care. Slowly, I sink below the surface into the music of the water. It plays softly, echoing through the currents like the sad song of a blues guitar. Blurry visions of sunlight dance past me in streams, fading into the shadow I cast downward, and obscure my view of my final destination.

As I descend effortlessly, something in the way the light plays in the water reminds me of how I got here. I have been cast off as worthless by the others, and weighted down with their expectations. They think they've done away with me, but they don't know that I am the Ocean's daughter. He doesn't find me worthless, and will not abandon me. I will breathe free again here in my new home where I have always belonged. I'm sure of this. He did it for my ancestors before me, and he'll do the same for me.

His peacefulness soaks into my very bones as I rock and sway with his rhythm, while the sunlight now dances on the Ocean's floor. Even the fish in all their fanciful colors welcome me like a long lost friend. I slowly grow numb to the world I leave behind. Only a brief sharp pain from my ankle and some strange voices interrupt this serene reunion, but they disappear as quickly as they came, and are soon forgotten.

Forgotten, that is, until a bloody tide clouds my vision, and a persistent throbbing brings me into a different world entirely. "Doctor, this one's a waste of your time. There are other more pressing emergencies requiring your attention. We'll take care of this one." Their voices didn't seem real and were barely audible over my pain. Still blurry-eyed, I gazed in horror down toward the end of the harsh metal table that I seemed to have landed on. "Where's my leg!" The words came out of my mouth faster than I could comprehend what I was asking. The doctor turned to me and uttered something about suicide. I heard nothing but the silent scream of his empty, soulless eye sockets and the shrieking pain of an ankle I no longer possessed. The nurse laughed.

Photo Friday: Comfort

I want to be the guy in the middle.

Photo Friday: Beach

Which one do you like better?

Mermaid Sings The Blues

"I'm stuck here in this muggy, mosquito infested, mud pit I call home.
I should be somewhere tropical. That's where I belong."

See what Steve did with his monsters here

Illustration Friday: Momentum

When a line gains momentum. I got the idea from Steve.

Photo Friday: Purple

Photo Friday: Insignificant

Illustration Friday: Visitors

Illustration Friday: Captain / Emergency

We're wading through haunted waters after losing our captain in our own personal 9/11.

6/30/01

Syringe caps litter my bedroom floor
Like ammunition shells on a barren battlefield.
Smoke rises from the ashes in my heart forevermore,
And the emptiness that's left behind won't be healed.

The quiet morning is so much louder than the night before.
Battle cries that sounded so distant and unreal
Are now echoing screams through a sunlit door,
And the settling dust and nightmares are unrelentingly real.

Your last breath hovers
On my lips lost forever
In the torment of a terrorist strike.
Blowing desperate pleas
Into lungs that gurgle and wheeze,
And still your losing the fight.

The vision of finding you on the floor
Frozen stiff in pain and fear haunts me.
All your spirit and strength is reduced to this horror,
And my helplessness appalls and taunts me.

Pounding on a gentle heart that used to care,
The whites of your eyes are turning gray.
You heave with all that your might can bear,
And strain to keep your life from fading away.

I love you,
I miss you,
I can't stand seeing you in pain.
I wish I treated
You better, I wish
I could've stopped the pain.

Illustration Friday: Missing 2

Studio Lolo's post a few weeks back reminded me of Max. Max was a huge 110 pound loyal Lab whose love for my husband, Mike, was so great that he knew the sound of Mike's truck from several blocks away. He waited each evening to hear that sound of Mike's return from work. The rest of the time they were inseparable.

Max's sole purpose in life was to retrieve anything that was thrown from Mike's hand. As soon as he heard Mike's truck, he would fetch his tennis ball and wait at the door. When Mike pulled in the driveway, he would bark with tennis ball in mouth a loud ear piercing bark. Nothing about Max was small. Not his bark, nor his appetite, nor his smells and messes, nor his desire to please Mike.

Once, Mike made the mistake of taking Max fishing. Before Mike's cast line could hit the water, Max did with an enthusiastic splash. Max swam straight for the little orange bobber with his usual skill, while Mike nervously reeled his line in as fast as he could, yelling, "no Max, no!" It was a race to see who would get the bobber first. Thankfully, Mike won. Barely. After which, Max was promptly tied to a tree. Poor tree! Max would charge full force toward the water then bark helplessly every time Mike cast his line. No fish were caught that day because I'm sure the echos of his cries across the water scared them all away. Max just didn't understand this "new game".

Another thing I don't think Max understood was Mike's death. He still waited every evening for the sound of Mike's truck. When Mike hadn't returned be night fall, Max would howl a slow, sad, mournful howl up into the sky. During the day, he took to head-butting fence boards to make his escape from the backyard. Something he hadn't done since he was a pup. Then he would search the neighborhood for his Mike until evening when he would wander back home and hope for his return.

I tried to console Max by spending more time with him. After all, it was just the two of us now. I could tell, though, I just wouldn't be able to take Mike's place. Any time a man would come over, be it my brother, a friend, a date, or just the repairman, Max would bring him his tennis ball wanting to play. I would try to throw his ball for him, but I couldn't throw as far as Mike, and he seemed to get bored with it after a while. I would try to take him for a walk, but unfortunately I'm not as big as Mike was, so I was usually dragged down the street much to the amusement of my neighbors. As Max got older, though, I would just lay with him in the grass of my front yard and watch the clouds. He would lay his head on me and seemed very content. He didn't have the energy of his youth anymore, and this is probably when we bonded the most.

Max was 11 years old when Mike died. I knew he probably wouldn't live much longer, and we had several scares, but each time I was able to nurse him back to health. Then one day when he was 15, I knew it was his time. I had tried to prepare myself for this day, but that was impossible. I cried, "oh Max." He tried to lift his head and wag his tail, but he couldn't. I held his head in my lap and petted him while I cried. Friends helped me get him to the vet where they put him to sleep. Again, I held his head in my lap and cried while they gave him the injection. He looked up at me. I covered his eyes with my hands and said, "it's ok Max, everything's going to be ok." Then he closed his eyes and took his last breath.

It suddenly occurred to me that he had been hanging on for me. All those afternoons laying in the grass when I thought I was consoling him, he was consoling me. I miss him.

Photo Friday: Oddity

Illustration Friday: Missing

Photo Friday: Wet

The Stuart Smalley Meme

I was tagged for this meme by Mary at No Polar Coordinates. I'm supposed to list 10 things I like about myself. Hmm... Well I've never done one of these before, and I don't want to be a party pooper, so here goes.

1. I like that I'm friendly. I've been told that I'm approachable, and that's a good thing because I like people. They fascinate me.



2. I like that I'm empathetic. This helps me with my work, since I usually work with people who are suffering from some kind of ailment, and I love my job. I like being able to help people.



3. I like that I'm loyal. Sometimes family and friends are all we have to get us through, so I think it's important not to take them for granted. My family and friends know that I'm loyal, so I've always had someone to turn to when I'm down.



4. I like that I'm conscientious. Some people would call it perfectionism, but that has such a negative connotation, and this is supposed to be a positive list.



5. I like that I'm a survivor. I use to worry about things like that, but after some of the things I've been through, I've learned that's one less thing I have to worry about. Someday I plan to do more than just survive.



6. I like that I'm creative. It gives me all kinds of options for therapy.



7. I like that I'm a good swimmer, which comes in real handy when you love the water.



8. I like that I'm a nature lover. Otherwise, I would miss out on all the peace that comes from gardening or a walk in the woods, or the joy that comes from the love of a pet or witnessing some of the miracles of life in the animal kingdom.



9. I like that I'm independent, although, my father and a few ex boyfriends have referred to it as stubborn. Other people say I have strong willpower or determination. Whatever you want to call it, it helps me survive.



10. And last but not least... I like that I can like myself. I know how horrible it feels to not like yourself, and it's a relief to finally be able to like myself.

Oh yes, it's all about me. Probably more than you wanted to know, but maybe not if you've read this far. This is the part where I'm supposed to tag other people. I'll tag Lynda, Karen, Carol Rose, and Kelly and Dominique if they ever get their blogs started.

Illustration Friday: Moon and Poem

I've been on vacation and still trying to recover, so I thought I'd combine the last two topics. Below are the original photos I used to make this collage.

Geraniums for Mary

This is the view from my computer. My geraniums aren't doing very well right now. They need some fresh soil. To see the geraniums that Mary posted, click here.

Mary has given me some wonderful advice on dream interpretation here. Because of her help, I've written this poem about a subsequent dream. For more about these dreams see the post right before this one.

Who are you? What do you have to hide?
Why are you helping me now? What made you decide
To help him deceive me? In you he confides.

I know him well. He gave me respect.
I reverted back to old ways after he left.
I know better, but my heart's not figuring out
The judgement conversions that my mind is weighing out.
My scale's inaccurate, so to strangers I turn.
I'm waisting their time, and nothing I learn.
I replace him with my work to calibrate the scale,
Then I turn to you when all else fails.

Who are you? And why do you hesitate?
Why are you loyal to him? He's just your workmate.
I begged him to come back, and at first he says no,
Then he reconsiders, but has no respect to show.
Now our life is the way it used to be,
But we don't talk about his infidelity.
I've found self respect, and we don't communicate.
His presence is not enough to calibrate.

Who are you? And why did you help him leave?
Why do you help me now when previously you deceive?
You can calibrate the scale now that I'm bereaved.

It's like a riddle. Does anyone know the answer?

Illustration Friday: Discovery

Mrs. Rabbit is discovering that the abuse and rape from her childhood is still affecting her.

Here are some interesting dream image symbolisms.

• Stairs: changes and transformations, the bottom is the unconscious, the top consciousness, landings are the dreamer's energy centers.
• Neck: connection between mind and heart.
• Death: a necessary end has come and there's a need to come to terms with it, or a limit has been reached and the dreamer doesn't know how to go beyond it, or something is dying inside.
• Dead person: unconscious incidents.
• Insects: deeply rooted unconscious content, a sign of nervousness and unconscious fears, a warning against living carelessly. [not sure about mating insects, the image just seem to fit the poem below]
• Rabbit: weak and fearful, needs protection.

Push it in until I choke
Shove it down my throat
To you love is just a jaded joke
On a more intellectual note

Dominate to have your way
Twisting everything I say
Complaining about the way I play
Belittling me where I lay

My fear is just a "cop out"
"For something I don't want to do"
Build a bond that's easily thrown out
Like broken rules in search of truth

Sex isn't that important to love
But can create it without trust
We underestimate the power of
An act that begins with lust

I can't believe I've come back to this
I thought I had gotten over it
After years of marital bliss
I'm like a dog returning to it's vomit

Photo Friday: Barren

"There's an empty space where you used to be..."
Listening to "Still Got The Blues" by Gary Moore.

Illustration Friday: Geeky

I had perfect vision all my life until I started blogging. My friends keep telling me," that's what happens after 40." Does that mean that everyone over 40 is geeky? What's so geeky about glasses anyway? By the way, I'm not getting old! I'm blaming this on the blogging.

This collage is a product of experimenting with my scanner, which was entirely too much fun. Don't tell me I'm geeky for doing this. I got the idea from Karen over at Art In The Garage.

Photo Friday: Busy

Knock, knock... "Can you come out and play?"
" I'm busy."

The early bird....

Book Quiz I found on Digital Scott's Blog

You're Adventures of Huckleberry Finn!

by Mark Twain

With an affinity for floating down the river, you see things in black
and white. The world is strange and new to you and the more you learn about it, the less
it makes sense. You probably speak with an accent and others have a hard time
understanding you and an even harder time taking you seriously. Nevertheless, your
adventurous spirit is admirable. You really like straw hats.

To see Digital Scott's click here

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Illustration Friday: Twist

Photo Friday: Gray

Dear Mike, the trees are lost in the gray
That surrounds them today.
Barren branches strain upward with a cry
To a frozen and lifeless sky
Praying for a brighter day.

Cypress roots are stuck in a muddy bog below;
Don't know which way to go.
Their knees rise up in search of solace
Uncertain of their purpose
In this lonely winter cold.

This season of solitude no lover can defeat;
You've left me incomplete.
I wander through the trees aimlessly
Getting bored shamelessly
With every man I meet.

Spanish moss desperately cling as the wind blows through
Like I cling to you.
But, now your ashes have grown cold,
With nothing left to hold,
I need someone to talk to.

Beneath reflections a decaying log with dead leaves
Whose color the bog bereaves.
I'm stuck in a world of wintry dead,
A shivering stillness inside my head,
And cries you once consoled, no one else perceives.

These photos and poem are a few years old, but I am posting them today in memory of my husband. Today is the anniversary of his death.